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Monday, July 23, 2012

MOJO MONDAY: You.Are.Amazing.

LOVE this little snippet I found on YourLifeYourWay, a great site full of inspiration and tips for living with more MOJO!... or as Tia Sparkles Singh calls it... SPARKLE.

Have a great week!!!
xoxo

Friday, July 20, 2012

BREAK AND REBOOT

It's been a challenging week. Not just for me, but for many people I know.

There are some situations in life that no words can comfort or explain.

I'm remembering my recent post about turning challenges into opportunities. I'm trying not to roll my eyes... at myself.

The struggle may SUCK in the moment, but it's an opportunity for change that can lead to something better. Considering that gives us permission to ease up and stop worrying.

Sometimes the best way to move forward is to STOP and BREATHE... aka, BREAK & REBOOT.

Part of dealing with whatever you're dealing with is giving yourself space to deal... and reaching out for support.


So many of us are unable to do that... we're too proud to admit our imperfections, afraid of being judged, afraid of being a burden or an annoyance, afraid of disappointing those around us, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid no one will understand, afraid of facing our shit and taking responsibility for it.

Sometimes we just put ourselves last on the list. We tell ourselves we've got it. And sometimes we think it's better to pretend we do, even when we don't.

We play that game with ourselves as much as we do with everyone around us. Then we wind up feeling depleted, getting burnt out, and making those around us suffer.

Why do we associate asking for help with weakness?

Real strength is in admitting you're human, and just owning wherever you are.

No one is gonna be "on" 100% of the time... ever. Anyone pretending to be is full of shit.

Asking for help - in business, in life - is a sign of wisdom, character, and leadership.

There's nothing empowering in pretending to be strong when you're really dealing with things beyond your current capacity. And it doesn't mean you're not capable EVER.

It just means that right now, you need to break and reboot.... a day at the spa, time with/without the kids, delegating to an assistant/intern/nanny, calling a friend, therapy, the gym, or scheduling some time to do absolutely nothing.

The point is, it's more than ok to take a time out and reboot... it's necessary to your survival and your success as a human being.

Have a beautiful weekend.
xoxo 


Thursday, July 12, 2012

The BEST FRENEMIES: Turning challenge into opportunity

We've all heard phrases like, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and "love your enemies."

I think the same can be said, metaphorically speaking, for challenges and setbacks. We loathe them... we avoid them... they're the f-ing devil!!!


But what if they weren't all bad? What if "challenges" were the ultimate FRENEMY? What if "setbacks" were just opportunities in disguise?

What if embracing them... even loving them a little, allowed us to live fuller and freer lives?

Most of us fear suffering, and we work incessantly to create our lives in ways that avoid it like the plague.

It doesn't feel good when we're in it, but it's just our body's way of telling us that something isn't right... something needs our attention... something needs to change. 

If you think of it from an evolutionary standpoint, it's like survival mode. We sense the threat of danger and make moves to adapt.


The old "fight or flight" instincts get triggered, and we want to defend and attack or run away and hide.

So really, challenges and setbacks are there to protect, prepare, and empower us... if we do the work required to not only get through them, but to get the thing they're there to teach us.

It's not always as obvious as you'd think, so you have to really look. And in looking, you might not always like what you find. But once you identify where the work needs to be done, you can take action around that.

The beauty is that really seeing it this way is a powerful tool that allows us to accept that what's happening is a natural part of the ebb and flow of life.

Doing that allows us to then figure out a way to deal with the circumstances powerfully, instead of spending all of our energy resisting it.


Swimming with the current instead of against it allows us to evaluate and react from a place of strength and empowerment instead of fear, worry, and upset.

This is NOT an attempt to "positive think" your way out of problems.

It's actually a tool you can use to step back and address whatever needs to be dealt with so you can be better equipped for survival.

Life will never be perfect and neither will we. There will never be a space in which everything goes right all the time.

Sounds like common knowledge, but a lot of us (consciously or not) still buy into the illusion of control on some level.

That was one of the biggest challenges I faced in getting to a better place.

I used to get frustrated when, after making progress, something would happen that sent me spiraling back to the same old space. I would wonder what I did wrong.

I finally realized some very important things:

1- We can't control outside circumstances no matter how equipped we are.
2- It's not our circumstances we need to manage, it's our reaction.
3- Acceptance vs resistance, is the best way to regain strength and deal powerfully with things when they go down. 
4- Acceptance doesn't mean defeat. 
5- Seeing the opportunity and taking action will move you forward.
*BONUS
6- Something feeling bad in the moment doesn't necessarily mean it is. 


The best personal example I can think of is my decision to move home. I was pretty devastated and depressed about it at first. I saw the move and myself as a complete failure. I judged myself as harshly as you can imagine... all day, every day. I spent every ounce of energy up in my head, in panic mode, overwhelmed by my circumstances. After a while, I had nothing left to create something new for myself. No strength, no clarity, no motivation, no life. In a nutshell, no MOJO.

I couldn't see how counterproductive it was at the time, but I was literally suffocating myself with worry. After doing some hard labor on myself (and still doing it), I learned to let go and accept that it would all be ok. And over time I saw amazing opportunities in this so-called setback.

It was an opportunity to step away from all the things distracting me and address what I really needed to work on. It was also an opportunity to discover what I really wanted, to fulfill my dream of traveling to Europe, to create a new business, to create this blog, to reconnect with old friends I grew up with, and especially, to build an amazing relationship with my mother and grandmother.

I had already been close with my mother, but there is a closeness and understanding now that never would have occurred if I hadn't moved back home. I also had next to no relationship with my grandmother. There's always been love, but never closeness. There's a language and cultural barrier that kept us from sharing anything more than superficial, almost scripted conversation.

She's come to stay with us every other weekend over the last year, and we now share a bond that was never there and would've never existed otherwise. I now know that she has a fully functioning sense of humor, she likes the Kardashians, and I even know some phrases in Arabic. She's 85 and the only grandparent I have left, so it's especially meaningful to have had this time with her at this time in my life.

I now look at the challenge of moving home as a necessary opportunity... one that has given me so many gifts, and has also strengthened and prepared me for the life I really want for myself.

Where can you see opportunities in your challenges? If you don't see any, look closer.

I've learned to love all my challenges. I make them my BEST FRENEMIES.

I expect them and I do my best to embrace them... because I know they're leading me someplace bigger and better than I am today.

xoxo







Monday, July 9, 2012

MOJO MONDAY: Give yourself a SPIRITUAL MAKEOVER in 21 days!


No more excuses. Opportunity awaits...


Dr. Deepak Chopra, scholar, activist, best-selling author, and spiritual leader is offering a FREE 21-day meditation series through The Chopra Center. 

Starting July 16th, The Chopra Center will be presenting a new meditation exercise each day for 21 days. You'll get the downloads emailed right to your inbox when you register. 

It's the easiest way to test the waters if you've never practiced meditation before, and to commit consistently if you have. 

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit. This is one you want in your life. 

Trust me, I wasn't always this "gung-ho" about it. 

It took time, patience, and practice. But now I see significant shifts as a result, so there's no denying the impact. I want you to experience that for yourself.

I even feel the difference daily now based on whether or not I meditate. 

Don't have time? MAKE SOME! 

It's not about religion or subscribing to anything other than stepping up your MOJO (whatever that means for you).

It's like exercise for your mind-soul-spirit. 

You go to the gym to exercise your body. Why not meditate to exercise your brain? 


It's all about slowing down the inner monologue in our minds so we can process everything more clearly. 

Here are just a few benefits of consistent meditation:

1- mindfulness/awareness
2- decreased stress/anxiety, increased calmness/peace
3- clarity of thought/concentration/focus
4- increased energy
5- improved physical well being
6- increased creativity

Neuroscientists have proven that meditation actually changes our brain chemistry, causing positive shifts in how we process fear and anxiety. 

Check out these articles from Psychology Today and The NY Times for some interesting info on the mind-body connection and the positive implications of meditation.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

To start practicing before Monday, read my previous post on this topic and try these simple, guided mediation videos on YouTube. They just focus on relaxation and breathing, the foundation for any practice. You don't have to be a master to participate. 

I'll be starting this challenge next Monday... challenge yourself!

xoxo
Have a great week!

Monday, July 2, 2012

MOJO MONDAY: LIVING WITH INTEGRITY

in·teg·ri·ty

noun
1.
adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2.
the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: 
to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3.
a soundunimpaired, or perfect condition: 
theintegrity of a ship's hull.


Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what YOU believe, and not what others believe.
-Barbara De Angelis



If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-Mark Twain



In all things preserve integrity; and the consciousness of thine own uprightness will alleviate the toil of business, soften the hardness of ill-success and disappointments, and give thee an humble confidence before God.
-Anonymous



A little integrity is better than any career. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson



Trust is rebuilt by focusing not on what the other person did or did not do but on critiquing one's own behavior, improving one's trustworthiness, and focusing attention not on words and promises but on actions, attitudes, and ways of being.
-Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith



When integrity is broken, the greatest consequence is the one you suffer yourself.
-LittlemissMOJO ;)

OR

When integrity is broken, so is the trust you have with yourself.
-LittlemissMOJO


Simple, but extremely powerful. Which quote do you like better? Got one of your own? Sharing is caring. 

NEWSFLASH!
In my commitment to having integrity with www.littlemissmojo.com, I put a new comments system in place using Disqus! The old one just wasn't user-friendly, so I apologize for that. Now there's no excuse! Get in the game and share your thoughts. If you're shy about sharing, challenge yourself. We're all more alike than you think. 


Have a great week!
xoxo